Thursday, December 9, 2010

Free To Be Me


"Free to be Me," by Francesca Battistelli is a song with lyrics that describe the theme of my life.  The chorus sings, "I'm trying to fit the pieces together. But perfection is my enemy. On my own I'm so clumsy.  But on Your shoulders I can see, I'm free to be me."  It has taken some time, but I have discovered that in spite of all my clumsiness, I can stand on God's shoulders and feel free to be who I am as His girl     

First Verse: At this point in my life as a high school senior "I'm still looking for a dream. A war is already waged for my destiny." The future and my dreams are uncertain. My mind is at war as God fights for my destiny, against my sinful desires. Yet, the following line of lyrics speak out, "But You've already won the battle and You've got great plans for me." God has already won the battle over my sin and has my life planned out for His purposes, which are beyond being explainable.  
     
Second Verse: "When I was just a girl, I thought I had it figured out. My life would turn out right. . .," are the thoughts of the girl I used to be. I was convinced that if I had life figured out, obeyed God's Word perfectly, and performed excellently in everything I did, my life would become near perfect. Perfection of myself and my life were what I lived for.  I have come to realize the words sung by Battistelli in the following lines of the second verse, “Things don't always come that easy.” The reality I needed to face with my "perfection" mentality was that God never promised that my life would be perfect. I am expected to pursue His holiness, in full knowledge that it is not for my life to be "better," but rather to serve God's purposes which are guaranteed to include trials.  I am far from having life figured out, but praise God that He does.
     
Chorus: Returning to the chorus of Francesca's song, "I've got a couple dents in my fender. Got a couple rips in my jeans. Trying to fit the pieces together. But perfection is my enemy," I find that I have many dents and rips.  I am not perfect.  The desire to be perfect is my enemy because I want perfection for self-satisfaction.  In other words, I want to believe that I am worthy to be a child of God.  In truth I am far from worthy to be His child. But, God came to save the least of mankind, the sinners, and the sick in heart. At the end of the chorus the words sing, "On my own I'm so clumsy, but on your shoulders I can see, I free to be me."  Because He is working on changing me in spite of myself,  I can stand on His shoulders and be free.
     
Third Verse: The final verse of the song states, "Sometimes I believe that I can do anything. And other times I think, I've got nothing good to bring."  In so many instances I have looked at myself with utter hopelessness, believing that I can no longer bring anything good into the world.  Nevertheless, the next verse is where God steps into the picture, "But You look at my heart and You tell me that I've got all You seek, even though I've got a couple dents. . ."   God uses sinners.  I am a sinner that is being used by a perfect God.  I have discovered that in spite of my clumsiness, my sin, I can now stand on the fact that I am His and can be who I am in Christ.  I am free to be me. 

Free To Be Me Youtube Video Link:
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=38LcrMZutJs

There is Power in His Name

Nancy Lee was a true woman of faith, a faith that showed itself not only in her words but also in her actions. Her confidence in God was reflected in what she treasured, in what she did to invest in my life, and in the devotion she had for her Savior.

My grandma Nancy lived for her family and treasured her friendships. One of her common sayings was, “I am a very 'wealthy' woman,” in reference to the people she valued in her life. Although she had no biological grandchildren, her house was filled with pictures of her “grandchildren”, each one loved and valued. Undoubtedly, my adopted grandma's talent was for keeping people together; she was often referred to as the “glue” of my family and her companions. Her home was the location for many family events. While we were at her home, “Eat to your heart's content” was a common phrase heard from her lips. For example, a large glass jar of gummy bears, among other treats, was never absent from her home to share with her family.

Nancy showed her love to me by not only giving, but also in listening and sharing. Being a confidante, a source of comfort, and a storehouse of wisdom, my Grandma Nancy was someone I looked up to. I could talk to my grandma about anything because she was always ready to listen to my worries and to encourage me with words of wisdom in my education, music, and spiritual life. I always felt accepted by my loving grandma. When I felt ugly, she told me, “You are beautiful”; when I felt like a failure, she would say, “You are talented.” In addition, the words, “You are loved” were not only what she said, but also what she showed in her actions. For instance, we used to send each other e-mails in which I would tell her what was new in my life and she would reply with words of encouragement. We also had a monthly “girls' day.” On that special day of the month we would load into her old car and do anything from going out to a movie, to visiting the Germans historical museum to explore our heritage. I remember our outings with fondness. However, my most cherished memories are of the times in her car, commuting from place to place. In her car she would share stories of her life and give me advice for the moments in mine. She loved retelling memories, as well as acquiring new ones. “We are making memories,” was one of her favorite sayings.

Nancy Lee was a woman of powerful faith in God. In a lot of ways, her faith was the result of deep-cutting hardships she experienced in her life. While still a young woman, she lost her husband to a long battle of cancer, and the following year, she lived through the nightmare of her son's surfing accident that led to paralysis and the loss of his legs. God was her solid ground, passion and desire throughout her whole life, especially through the trials. My grandma's admiration for God was displayed in her everyday life and in her words. The phrase she said the most still sticks with me today, “There is power in His [Jesus'] name.” My adored grandmother was a woman who truly knew the power of relying on God.

I treasure the memories I had with my Grandma Nancy. I looked up to her, not only because she loved all and loved deeply, but also because of the powerful faith she had in God. Grandma Nancy is now with her Savior, her stronghold in eternity. I am no longer able to go to her home to open the jar of gummy bears as we chat about life, or sit in her car listening to her stories. I miss her. I miss being able to ask her about anything and talk to her about everything. But, I am inspired by her to excel in everything I do because she believed that I could. As a true woman of faith, Grandma Nancy was my role model and I will never forget her life changing words, “There is power in His name.”

Children of Mexico

Lately I have been remembering some precious faces I met back in Mexico last winter. Kevin, David, Viki, Tono and Manuel are orphans of Mexico.  I met these little ones on two different missions trips to Mexico. The children I met in the orphanage we served at are each created by God, known by  Him, and seen by Him.  I know they are in His hands.  


Kevin

Kevin is a boy who loves to cuddle and be held.  He  always  seems  to be in deep thought about things.  He would  hold my ear whenever he was near me, as if he was making sure I was there.   A boy of few words, his sweet smile says it all.

  


David
 
David is a strong personality.  He feels things with intensity.  When he is upset he fights, when he is happy he laughs loud, and when he loves someone he loves hard.   David is missing three of his fingers on one of his hands.  He liked to place his hands in mine, weaving his fingers in between my fingers, holding on tight. 



Viki

Viki is a blue-eyed beauty.  Her eyes sparkle and laugh  and her smile is contagious.  A little chatter box, she loved to tell me  all the names of the animals in Spanish. It was a game we played, I would make an animal sound and she would tell me the name.  Most of her teeth have rotted and blackened, but this does not dull the sweetness in her smile. In pink, butterflies, and a ponytail, Viki is a little doll.



Tono

Tono is a boy with a tender heart, intelligent mind, adventurous spirit, and curious nature.  Tono loved to show me around the orphanage grounds, play games, and teach me Spanish words.  He also desired to learn some English words.  It gave him great pleasure to say my name,"Alejandra" over and over, at times, singing it to himself.




Manuel
Manuel holds a very special place in my heart.   Manuel is all boy with toy cars, a spider man shirt, wrestling, making silly faces, and pretending to be a scary monster.  He is also very loving, wanting to be held and loved.  The most heart-melting moments in my life have been when he would wrap his little arms around my neck and hold on tight.  Additionally one of the most heart-breaking moments of my life was when I had to say good-bye to him after my first trip to the orphanage.  Just before leaving, I held him for a long time as he lay his head on my shoulder, while tears streamed down his precious face.  I am unsure which of us had more tears that day.  He kissed my cheek over and over calling me his "mama."  Manuel has a "Papa celestial" who will always be there with him.




Illiteracy, The Road to a Hopeless Future

Illiteracy is a benighted and stagnant state of inability to use reading and writing in average daily life situations. 22% of American adults have minimal to no literacy ability according to the National Center for Educational Statistics. 2/3 of illiterate Americans did not complete their education in high school (National Center for Educational Statistics). In a survey conducted by Civic Enterprises, 45% of the high school dropouts interviewed said that they fell behind while still in elementary school due to illiteracy. The inability to read and write begins at a young age. If children are behind in their literacy skills their chances for graduating are drastically decreased. Many illiterate youth are from urban city areas and their numbers only rise with each passing year. Quality reading literacy programs for children from low income families should be encouraged and promoted at the community and state levels because illiteracy results in higher chances of poverty, crime, and a cycle of illiteracy passed down to the next generation.

Illiteracy results in high rates of poverty, lower income levels, and an increased dependence on welfare. As quoted from the National Center for Education Statistics, “In 2003, 43% of adults with the lowest level of literacy skills were living in poverty.” Young illiterate adults cannot fill out job applications, or hold jobs that have any reading or writing requirements. Because of deficiencies in the work field, those with the lowest level of literacy skill earn approximately $240 per week, compared to $681 earned by those with the highest level of literacy skills, according to a study done by the National Institute for Literacy, 2003. 3 in 4 Americans adults on welfare are illiterate and are more likely to be a part of Medicaid and TANF programs (Coalition of Central Texas). Undoubtedly, children who go through elementary and middle school illiterate have reduced chances of escaping poverty beyond high school.

Also, children with illiterate back grounds have greater chances of committing crime. The probability for an illiterate to commit a crime as a result to poverty is great. High illiteracy rates play into high crime rates. 85% of all juveniles who interface with the juvenile court system are illiterate (National Assessment on Adult Literacy, 2003). Further studies suggest the 2 out of 3 students who cannot read effectively by the 4th grade will end up either on welfare, in jail, or both (Teri Vance, Literacy for Life). It is logical that those who suffer from illiteracy and poverty turn to crime to fulfill their needs and wants.

In addition, the cycle of illiteracy will surely be passed on to the next generation. Reading is a skill that holds profound importance in the lives of children and is vital to their success in school. Parents' literacy comprehension bears great weight in what level their children are reading at. Illiterate parents are less likely to read to their children, injuring their capability to develop basic literacy habits. A child without reading and writing skills is 3 to 4 times more likely to be a high school drop-out later in life (The State of Literacy In America). In reaction to the immense numbers of illiterate children becoming the product of illiterate homes, literacy programs need to be encouraged.

Viewing the opposition, federally funded literacy programs are protested against by those who are against Federal funding of state programs. Programs meant to decrease the illiteracy rate are also opposed by those who feel that these programs are not accomplishing their purpose. First, Federal and State funding are not the same. Federal funding of state programs is unconstitutional and provides less effective literacy improvement due to the generalizing of programs in the states. However, State funded and community/ministry based literacy programs fall in line with the Constitution, and provide better quality literacy programs, because each state understands the literacy needs within its cities. Secondly, whether or not literacy programs are making a difference on the national level, there are programs on the community level that are improving the futures of many low-income children.

One such community/ministry based program is the City Impact Reading Center. The Impact Reading Center is a State of the Art, intensive 9 week reading program that provides one on one tutoring for young readers. Dennis, a 1st grader from down-town Lincoln (fictional name created to protect the individual), was behind for his grade in reading when he was enrolled into the Impact Reading Center. But with the help of his volunteer tutor provided to him through the program he was able to increase three reading levels, putting him ahead of his classmates in reading ability. In addition to receiving better grades, Dennis became a leader in his classroom, gained confidence in himself, and started reading to his little sister. Dennis is now in the 5th grade and doing well in his studies thanks to the existence of the Impact Reading Center. Dennis is not the only inner city child who has been impacted by a community based literacy improvement center. Many other children are continuously invested into and given the help they need to improve their literacy and advance their level of learning.

Children of illiterate parents, many from low-income homes and surrounded by criminal influence, are in danger of becoming illiterate themselves, rising their chances of dropping out of high school, becoming poverty stricken and possibly committing their own crime(s). Illiteracy starts at a young age, but illiterate youths' reading and writing ability can be improved by effective, child focused, state and community based literacy programs.






                                                           Work Cited
Bowman, Todd, Dir. Impact Reading Center. City Impact: Film. <08 Nov 2010>.
Bridgeland, John M., John J. Dilulio, Jr., and Karen Burke Morison. “The Silent Epidemic.” Civic
Enterprises March. 2006: 31-iii. Web. 8 Nov 2010. <http://www.civicenterprises.net/pdfs/thesilentepidemic3-06.pdf>.
Coalition of Central Texas. “Why Should We Care? The Impact of Low Literacy on The Community.” Literacy Coalition of Central Texas. N.p., 2007. Web. 8 Nov 2010. <http://www.willread.org/Why-Should-We-Care-The-Impact-of-Low-Literacy-on-the- Community.html>.
Illiteracy: The Downfall of American Society.” Education Portal (2007): n. pag. Web. 8 Nov 2010. <http://education-portal.com/articles/Illiteracy:_The_Downfall_of_American_Society.html>.
The National Institute For Literacy – Stats and Resources.” National Assesment of Adult Literacy. (2008): n. pag. Web. 8 Nov 2010. <http://www.caliteracy.org/naal.>.
Vance, Terri. “Literacy For Life.” Nevada Appeal (2009): n. pag. Web. 8 Nov 2010